The Chronicles of George, Page Four

Well, George, it's like this: when a man and a woman get together...

Damn connectioning problems. Of course, it would have helped had I known what KIND of connectioning problems.

Too lazy to call her back, or too...oh, I'm not even going to say it. I'll just call her myself, and for lunch I'll down three times my usual dosage of Tagamet.

Because we so love for our users to waste time watching pr0n mpegs instead of working, I'll get right on that.

Oh my. I'm pretty jaded to George's tickets, but this one made me burst out laughing. He's talking about an ergonomic keyboard, by the way. If *I* had an orgasmic keyboard, though, I wouldn't let ANYONE take it away.

I read this, and all I hear in my head is "We get signal" and "What you say?!!"

Yeah, this is Texas, all right. Corporative stratergies indeed.

I know I should stop commenting on "havening", but it's just so...unusual.

George is a cipher. Problems and error messages go in one end, and weird crazy shit comes out the other.

My God, it's full of stars!

Yeah. It's going to do a lot of good in there.

That would be the RAS server. Chalk this one up to "George doesn't know what the hell he's talking about; he's just repeating what he's told."

Okay. Good luck—I think we're fresh out of Notes for PalmOS.

Well, damn. Apparently not.

This ticket is dumb because we are a mixed NT4 and 2K shop. This means that all the computers already have IE. While this is perhaps excusable for a luser to not know, even George should by now know this. Argh.

This ticket appears to have been typed by a frenzied, rabid wolverine.

George once again ignores scope of support to make some fool happy. Why? Because George Just Doesn't Know.

Maybe it's a stream of consciousness thing? The words flow directly from phone to ear to hands without stopping at brain? Not that they'd pick up anything from that extra stopover...

Oh, yeah, the Microsoft disk. I keep that right next to the Adobe disk and the Symantec disk. Hang on.

Stuff That's Supposed to Happen, Part III: Checking Your Mail Works Differently From Home

Oh, poor George. That must have been embarrassing.

She's trying to print a document that she doesn't not need—so she needs it—but it won't stop printing? What's the problem?

Oooh, a new one! Movening! And, this one looks pretty crazy—she is havening problems because the mouse is movening her stuff around, like it's possessed or something! I'm afraid. Can someone else troubleshoot this one?

Oh, to see inside George's mind, just for a moment. That would be priceless.

Non-specific problems, apparently. I read stuff like this and I assume the worst—like the referenced user is sitting in front of the referenced asset with a big stick because the asset is trying to kill him or her with acid or something, like the giant evil computer from Superman III.

Cool—both things he tried worked. So what's the problem?

Vintage George, my friends. What problems? And with what settings on what program?