The Chronicles of George, Page Six

Verb tenses mean nothing to George.

Oooh! Oooh! Look! A new one! "Savening"!

I remember this call. It turned out to be more luser error than anything else—the number was not an extension, but rather a whole phone number. The luser really needed to get in touch with the person at the other end of that phone number—an external number, in no way connected with our company—and it was busy. What to do? Call the help desk, obviously! Yeah, the help desk can make that person get off the phone!

This ticket is included in the Chronicles not so much for George's grammar, but rather for the sheer ludicrosity of the request.

Hot sinking? Help me.

Havening, havening, havening. I've set the editor's spellchecker to ignore "havening" so my comments aren't filled with red wavy lines.

No mention, of course, as to which sheet, on which drive. I've come to expect as much.

What possible lapse of thinking could lead someone to use a comma in place of an apostrophe? Perhaps I'm nitpicking, but this just seems particularly insane to me.

Must have been written while he was coming down from an ecstasy high. Her donagle? Take her laptop off? Sounds pretty kinky.

Boilerplate George. While there is no "havening" in here, there is the almost-as-oft used "memmory."

Acrobate? Sounds vaguely dirty.

This one gets slightly muddled by the redacting, so I'll try to clear it a bit: "$USER needs permissions to $NETWORK_SHARE." No mention, though, of which permissions are needed.

That's a long-ass meeting.

Sounds like George is also havening several problems, like not knowing what the hell he's doing.

I say we put George in the trash.

This confused the hell out of me until I realized he meant that the user was trying to print a copy of our corporate logo. "Loggo? What the hell is loggo?"

It would take true skill to be any more vague than this.

Someone else that simply refuses to deal with George on the phone. This was actually a pretty common thing.

George could have done this himself, if he'd any idea of what the user was talking about.

Mail file server? That's like two different error messages for the price of one!

The user is not able to reach a page, and it instead displays...something. We'll never know what.

Yes, and quickly, before it DESTROYS THE WORLD!

So unlock it, dipstick. You've got the same copy of User Manager for Domains that I do!

Classic George. For some reason, this one sounds kinda kinky.

Oh, is George psychic now? You never know until you try!

A Power Point document, an e-mail attachment that's a Power Point document, a file embedded inside a Power Point document, or something else entirely?

Well, it might take us a while to find that, considering how the test machine is a PC and Word 98 is a Mac-only program. But that doesn't stop George.

This one goes in the "No shit" file.

In case you're wondering, that last grayed out word is the name of a server, not the name of a program or file. Even thinking about this is giving me a headache.